The Top Tips For Dating an Older Man - 100.7 Jack FM San Diego Radio & DSC- sandiegojack

The Top Tips For Dating an Older Man

V. Stiviano, Donald Sterling's skanky gold digger, had reportedly been seeing him for four years. So she can probably relate to today's list of The Top Tips For Dating an Older Man.

  1. Unless he's rich . . . DON'T.
  2. Want to surprise him with a homemade meal? You can't go wrong with pudding.
  3. Don't explode if you catch another woman with her hand down his pants. She's a nurse adjusting his diaper.
  4. Don't be surprised if his follow-up comment to asking you out for dinner is, "Cool, I'll pick you up at 3:00 P.M."
  5. Avoid S&M. If you spank him too hard, his teeth will fly out.
  6. Do lots of push-ups so you'll have the upper body strength to operate the system of levers and pulleys required to give him an erection.
  7. Familiarize yourself with his Buick. One day he'll have a heart attack in the middle of a drive, and you'll have to take the wheel.
  8. During arguments, remind him whose boss by crimping his oxygen hose.
  9. Ask him about a minority, press "record" on your iPhone, and get ready to blackmail him for millions.
  10. Pretend you've never heard of the Beatles. His insistence that you immediately listen to the "White Album" will distract him from talking about his prostate.
  11. Agree to try something kinky... but only if he first figures out how to add an attachment to an email.
  12. No matter how much he loses at the blackjack table, remind him it's not polite to refer to Native Americans as "Injuns."
  13. Don't be afraid to order the most expensive item on the menu... because he gets a 15% senior discount.
  14. Turn him on by whispering sweet nothings into his Miracle Ear.
  15. Always have a barf bag in your purse for when you see him naked.
  16. Do whatever he asks of you . . . except pulling his finger.
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