By: Stephanos Garcia
With spring break looming, it, one way or another affects everyone. Whether you're a parent, who has your wonderful demons, oh I mean children for over a week, a grandparent, who is the lucky winner of watching them, or the college student that takes part in excessive partying, while still trying to maintain that beach look. Here are some tips for survival.
- If you're a parent, simply drop them off at your parents' house. They are too kind of souls to say no, and its free demonsitting.
- If that option is out of the question, hire a high school relative for the week, they have simple demands of food, and non-alcoholic margaritas, of course you can tell them it has tequila in it. They will not know the difference, if they do. You have stuff to blackmail them on, and score free childcare forever. It's a win, win!
- If you're the grandparents, who are asked to watch. Well, be rude and tell them you have to catch up on sleep.
- Now for the big one, College students. Hey it's the best 4 to 6 years of your life, enjoy it! First off, in order to get that beach look, you may have to cut out all alcohol weeks in advance, and get on that gym grind like everyone else.
- Who am I kidding? That one is a lie, did I not say, to live it up. If you think you look like a 10, pshh you look like a 20 my friend. Go and prance around the beach with your stomach and arms hanging out. The only ones with 6-packs are the ones who starved themselves, and will be passed out by midnight, leaving more good looking people like yourselves.
- What if you're the lucky person, who has to spend your break at home? To survive that, grab a $10 kiddie pool from Walmart, a case of cold beer, and a squirt gun. Sit in your front lawn, and be the envy of your college friends, who come back to realize they spent thousands of dollars, while your parents paid for your booze. Also, being stuck at home is the best thing that could ever happen to you. Your personal chef, maid, and driver for a week.
Stay classy my friends. Those of you who think your spring break is being consumed by your job. Bring a cheap pool to the rooftop, and start your own party. I'm sure the boss won't mind if they are invited to a week of office debauchery. Remember, be happy, be healthy, it's the honey cheerios way.